Heading off to kindergarten is an exciting time for both children and their parents, but it can also be a big adjustment, often creating stress for the whole family.
“When starting kindergarten, it is typical to see kids struggle with separating from parents at the start of the school day and adapting to the new academic expectations of a more structured school day,” said Jessica Dodge, MD, medical director of the Adolescent Intensive Outpatient Program at Greenwich Hospital. “There can also be social struggles that may occur due to increased social expectations and language and cognitive demands.”
Common fears for kindergarteners
Children heading to kindergarten usually have age-appropriate fears. They may worry about leaving their parents and the security of their home to go to school, fear going into a new space that is unfamiliar with many new people or worry about making new friends. It’s all normal anxiety, according to Dr. Dodge, and it may manifest itself through avoidance of situations, irritability or tearfulness, rather than a child verbally expressing his or her feelings.
Managing first-day of kindergarten anxiety
There are things you can do to help your child with the transition. Dr. Dodge encourages parents to keep the communication open.
A few things you can do ahead of the school year include:
- Prepare your child about what to expect at school by introducing them to their teacher if possible, sharing photos or visiting the space. Some schools have orientation days to show students their new class and teach them about riding the bus for the first time.
- Discuss what the child’s daily routine will look like. It may be helpful to have a visual with a schedule and what to expect each day.
- Validate any anxieties the child may have while continuing to identify what he or she is looking forward to. It’s important to acknowledge a child’s worries, while also letting him or her know that you believe they are up to the challenge.
When to talk to a pediatrician or counselor
Often in the weeks following the first day of school, a child will adjust to kindergarten, the new daily schedule and new friends. However, if your child seems to be in distress for a prolonged time following the transition, or consistently refuses to go to school, you may want to see if your child needs increased support. Keep an eye on frequent social problems or academic difficulties outside of what is normal for your child. Teachers and school staff have the experience of seeing children through this transition every year and can be a great resource.
“If there are continued concerns, reach out to the school psychologist or counselor who may recommend additional assessment or support,” said Dr. Dodge.
Parents need to practice self-care
Watching your child grow and taking this next step can also highlight parents’ own anxieties about the kindergarten transition. It’s important that parents, too, discuss their feelings with their own communities to help handle stress. It will help everyone better handle their emotions on that bittersweet first day of kindergarten.
