Suicide is the 11th leading cause of death in the United States, according to the most recent numbers provided by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Those numbers also report that in one year, 12.8 million people seriously thought about taking their own life, experiencing what is known as suicidal ideation.
Justine Kovacs, a Greenwich Hospital Interventional Psychiatry Services (IPS) patient, is a part of that group, and she had that thought for most of her life.
“At the age of 5 was the first time I remember wanting to end my life,” Kovacs revealed.
Thankfully, for Kovacs it was never too late, but to anyone who saw her life from the outside, there were no telltale signs of a depressed young girl.
Success masked as silent suffering
“I was an avid runner,” said Kovacs.
As a Stamford High School student, Kovacs ran track and field, won the Connecticut State Championship in the two-mile event and placed second in the same event at the New England Championships.
Her impressive high school career landed her an athletic scholarship to the University of Maryland.
“I was about to start training for the Olympics, and then I cracked my femur from overexercising,” she explained. “Overdoing it is a common theme in my life.”
Shortly after, Kovacs began experimenting with alcohol, forcing her to drop out of school, and then she developed a drug addiction years later.
Coping mechanisms
A peer-reviewed study found that about one-quarter of individuals with mood disorders reported using alcohol or drugs to cope.
Kovacs admitted to drinking a handle of alcohol herself while injured and feeling isolated from her teammates when they were away at meets that she could not attend. Her coping techniques ran the gamut, but none of them could stop her thoughts about self-harm.
“Sometimes we see patients who have engaged in healthy coping mechanisms but may still feel depressed,” explained Kourtney Koslosky, MD, chair of Psychiatry and Behavioral Health at Greenwich Hospital. “We also have patients who have engaged in unhealthy coping mechanisms and realize they want change.”
Understanding depression and complex trauma
Kovacs began seeing therapists after those initial suicidal ideations in early childhood and, to her knowledge, has taken over 50 different medications to treat her conditions. She was officially diagnosed with complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) and major depressive disorder (MDD).
CPTSD can result from experiencing chronic trauma. People with CPTSD typically have additional symptoms, including issues with emotion regulation, identity and relationships.
Kovacs was a victim of sexual abuse from the age of 4 to 11.
“I grew up just trying to survive,” she said. “If it was my will, I would have been dead years ago, so there’s got to be something of a higher power.”
“I’m also very hard on myself,” Kovacs added. “But I do not give up, and I haven’t.”
A study from Frontiers concluded that 57.1 percent of individuals with clinically significant depressive symptoms met criteria for CPTSD, highlighting how frequently complex trauma accompanies MDD.
Searching for a new solution
In September 2025, at 16 years sober but still grappling with her mental health, Kovacs asked her therapist about ketamine treatment.
“I was the closest I’d ever been to ending my life,” she noted. “I said I need to try something else, because I am ready to do it.”
Kovacs’ therapist referred her to Greenwich Hospital and its IPS team.
Hande Omur, MD, associate medical director of IPS at Greenwich Hospital, was assigned to Kovacs’ case.
“She came to us with very frequent suicidal thoughts and urges,” Dr. Omur explained.
Dr. Omur added that patients need to have “treatment-resistant depression” before ketamine is selected.
Because of her history with substance abuse, Kovacs was understandably skeptical.
“I said I would not do it for the longest period of time because of some fear or shame,” Kovacs said. “But the reality of it is, it’s a medication prescribed by a doctor. I would have no more days of sobriety to count if it weren’t for this medication.”
What is ketamine therapy?
Ketamine has been commonly used for anesthesia since the 1960s, and research has shown it can rapidly alleviate symptoms of major depression.
In 2019, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) authorized the use of esketamine, marketed as Spravato®, for patients with depression who do not respond to standard treatments and later expanded its approval to include adults experiencing suicidal thoughts.
Kovacs received Spravato.
Treatment sessions last about two-and-a-half hours, and patients are closely monitored.
For Kovacs, the changes were immediate.
“I felt lighter,” she recalled. “I felt hope and a sense of freedom.”
The power of a multidisciplinary care team
Dr. Omur provides a consultation before any decision is made, educating patients on risks and benefits. If the patient opts for therapy, the care plan involves multiple sessions over several weeks.
“Our goal is to eventually taper them off the treatment,” Dr. Omur said.
Kovacs had her last session in February 2026.
“It feels amazing,” expressed Dr. Omur. “It is so nice to know we have this resource in place to help people.”
Healing beyond medication
After battling with her mental health for 35 years, Kovacs found a plan that works for her.
She has not had one single suicidal ideation since her first ketamine treatment in September 2025, and her anxiety and depression have subsided significantly.
Kovacs’ partner, Sue Ellen Farrell, was by her side after every session. “The light was back in the room,” Farrell explained. “Life seemed to literally begin again.”
Kovacs also credits art as part of her healing. “It has saved me from many relapses,” she said. “It allows me to show my pain but also express positivity.”
She created a piece for Dr. Omur called “Rise from the Ashes.”
A message of hope
The road to a healthier life is not easy. Kovacs knows that better than most, but she was “sick of wearing the mask,” as she put it. “I realized I did not have to live in silence anymore. I deserve to be seen. We all do.”
Dr. Omur emphasized that message.
“I want people who are struggling to know that there is hope,” she said. “Even if you have tried every option, there is always another one.”
More information about the IPS services at Greenwich Hospital
If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide, you are not alone. You can reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or by chatting at 988lifeline.org.
